nirak.net - Musings of an LIS Student

Last week was a crazy one for me- the last (I hope) bit of bad winter weather and serious time constrains made me a bit crazy. I think every once in a while I need a little breakdown to straighten myself out. Better weather means brighter spirits for me, and I started this week with renewed optimism.

As I have hinted at in previous posts, I have been having a good deal of trouble settling on a career trajectory. It’s not that I want the perfect first job, but I want a good first job. I still have my “OMG, did I do the right thing?!?!” moments about withdrawing my name from the position I applied for. I have come to the conclusion that job hunting is a little like gambling- sometimes you have to go with your gut and hope for the best. It doesn’t help that I hate gambling.

I have a few ideas about what I might want to do re: job possibilities.

1. Find a local job, save up money and continue networking like crazy

photo credit: Photocapy

The advantage of finding a local job is that I would not have to waste much time with planning a move, deciding where to live, etc. Lincoln affords a good deal of leisure time, and Omaha is not bad either. If I stay in state, I can put away a lot of money and would have a good amount of free time I can devote to professional development (read: more school, but not the crazy pace I have been maintaining.)

Of course, this option is dependent on a job opening up in the right place at the right time. I have heard of a few possible opportunities opening up, but there’s a LOT of talented new library professionals out there that I would be up against. Staying in state would probably mean settling for less than a dream job, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t find something that makes me happy.

2. Try to get as many fellowships/internships as possible

The wanderlust part of me loves this idea. Basically, I would try to find some kind of flexible employment that would allow me to leave for a few months at a time to do internships here and there. Better yet would be to get some fellowships to pay my way. I was kind of hoping I might be able to use the new NEH Digital Humanities Fellowship as a springboard (that would, of course, be contingent on finding a center to sponsor me), but unfortunately, I won’t meet the eligibility requirements because I’ll still be in school. I have not started to search in earnest for other fellowship possibilities- the library field isn’t known for tons of fellowships, but there are a few.

I like this idea because it would allow me to try out some different locations and jobs and hopefully find something that fits. The downside, of course, is that it would be less stable and would probably mean being away from my husband for extended periods of time. It would also mean not saving as much.

3. Be patient, wait for the perfect job

Instead of taking something less than ideal because it is close, I could just wait and apply to the dream jobs I’m sure will pop up after I graduate. I like my job and wouldn’t mind staying on for a bit, but the pay isn’t great.

The problem with this plan is I have no idea where I want to live. Lincoln is OK, and I’d love to live in California again but I can’t imagine being able to afford it. (I have a few other dream locals, like Portland Oregon.) I started a google map where I plotted places I might like to live and recommendations based on a quick Twitter poll. I would love to live somewhere I could walk to work or take public transportation, somewhere with a moderate climate, and somewhere with lots of natural beauty. Of course a low cost of living is helpful too. I’m not too picky. Suggestions are welcome.

The problem with the above approach is I don’t really know yet what the perfect job is.

Of course, I am oversimplifying my options - as William Turkel pointed out recently, career trajectories are never a linear or predictable as we would like.  For now, I’m taking a step back and keep watching, listening, and waiting. I’m looking at what others in my position are doing - a big crop of enormously talented Library school students are graduating this May. I’m keeping tabs on job descriptions and trying to figure out what would be right for me.

A big part of this is trying to figure out what kind of person I am- I have become quite the homebody in the last few years (that may just be a result of marriage, or maybe just a lack of money) but I’m starting to come out of that a bit. How adventurous do I want to be? How much risk am I willing to take? These are questions I ask over and over but I can only answer myself.

karin :: Apr.15.2008 :: House and Home, School Stuff :: 3 Comments »

School and work (I would say “life” but I have not had one of those for a while) have kept me away from blogging for a while. I feel, lately, like I am being pulled in different directions- which I suppose I am. I am starting to feel pressure to decide what I will devote myself to, and I *can’t* decide. I like my job now, so I think I might like to stay in the digital humanities. However, what drew me to librarianship is the ability to work with lots of people, which I would get from a public services library job. There are other considerations too- techie vs non-techie, reference vs support. I just don’t know- and I likely won’t know until I actually work in a few different positions, which is scary.

It’s not like I need to decide on a career path RIGHT NOW, but I am getting a lot more questions to the effect of “what are you going to do once you are out of library school?” and I don’t know how to answer. I feel like a bit of a failure not having a definite area of librarianship I want to go into. For the record, I know that’s so NOT true, but it’s just a feeling, gnawing away at me.

Add to that stuff school work and work work and committee work and school paperwork BS on TOP of the regular school work and you have an exhausted to the point of collapse Karin.

Which brings me to the real point of this post. I remember reading a while back about saying yes (was it on Kathryn’s Blog? Maybe…) and I sort of unconsciously took this advice to heart. I have been saying yes a LOT more than I would have a couple of years ago, when I protected my time rather zealously. The results have been good and bad. In addition to full time work and grad school, I have been to 5 conferences, presented several times, written some articles, I serve on the display committee at work, I’m secretary for the Nebraska Library Association NMRT, and I attend pretty much any professional development thing I can. I have also networked my butt off, and in the process made a lot of really cool acquaintances. I never feel like I am doing enough, though, because librarians are overachievers (at least a lot of them are) and plenty of them do tons more than I do. (For example: danah boyd posted recently about work/life balance.)

So I feel a little down when I realize I can’t do it all. Why not? What’s wrong with me? Where has all my energy gone? I kept expecting to get over this funk, to perk back up to the energy level I was at even last semester, but it is just not happening.

Saying yes all the time has led to some really great experiences though, and I wouldn’t trade any of it. All the conferences I have gone to have been a blast. I’ve met several people I now consider to be friends. I’ve been able to travel more in the last two years than in the 5 years previous to that. Best of all, I continually feel like I am doing something with meaning. I’m not just wandering around- I may be interested in too much, but it is all interesting to me. I’m not bored, just tired.

Unfortunately, there’s no break in sight for me- My semester ends May 2nd, and the following Monday I start my practicum. 90 house does not seem like a lot, but crammed into three months in which I’m traveling a lot (and still working another job), it will be a pretty large chunk of time. I’m also taking a class this summer and attending two conferences. I do, thankfully, have a vacation in there before the ALA conference in Anaheim, but travel for me is about packing in as much as possible into a trip, not so much relaxing. I will have about 3 weeks in August where I will only have full time work.

This turned into a rather long post to say this: I’m gonna blog more, I promise.

karin :: Apr.10.2008 :: Library, Rant, School Stuff, Work :: No Comments »

I have been pretty quiet here lately. The truth is, there has been a LOT on my mind- stuff about my future career, where I want to live, what concessions I am willing to make (including how much time I am willing to spend away from my husband) and what exactly I want to do. So much is unsure, and I suppose I feel a little uncomfortable talking about things that I am unsure about- though I think for other library school students, this is exactly the kind of thing that is very useful to read about.

The other reason I have not posted about these feelings and thoughts is because it is hard to do so without naming names. Much of what I want in a job depends on where that job is, and that has to do with family, friends, and of course, my husband who is both my family and my best friend. (OK, trying not to sound too mushy, but he really is.) Also, the library community is small. It’s not hard to determine who I am talking about, even if I don’t name names. This has mede me super careful about what I post, especially lately.

So please forgive me if my posts come off sounding a little awkward and vague- it’s where my brain is right now.

I recently withdrew my name from a job that I really, really wanted. I think I had a good chance at getting the position, but it was just too far from home, in a place my husband would have had a hard time relocating. I knew this when I applied, of course. The plan was that I would spend the week in this other place and then come home on the weekends. It sounds OK on paper, and in planning, but when we actually sat down to figure out costs and logistics, it sort of fell apart. There were a lot of little things that, if taken alone, would have been fine, but all together would make the job unmanageable.

Then there was the fact that I am, after all, still in school- still carrying a full coarse load while working full time. Travel would mean cutting 5-6 hours out of my week when I have little time to spare. I can’t help but feel I should have considered all these aspects of the job before I applied, and I feel bad for not doing so. On the other hand, sometimes it takes a face to face confrontation with a possibility before it feels real. I am very grateful to the search committee of the school I applied to. It sounds like they are doing wonderful things and I am disappointed I will not be a part of it. They asked really great questions that really showed they are thinking about many of the same things I am, and it will be hard to come by a job that would allow me the opportunities this one would have.

The whole experience has made me cautious about job applications. For a while now I have been adding more and more to my to do pile- applying for a job seemed like the logical next step. I realize now that I need to take a step back and reassess. Full time work and school is hard- when I add to that presenting and writing and conferences and serving as secretary for the NMRT of the NLA, I’m pretty much filled up to capacity.

At the same time all this was happening, or maybe because of it, I have found myself drifting back to art as a pastime. I sort of stopped making art after I finished my Bachelors in Fine Art. The preparation for the final show and my final classes were overwhelming (I was working near full time then, too). I was constantly making art, and that art was constantly evaluated and critiqued, and it got exhausting. I not only had to create, but I had to think very carefully and pointedly about what I was creating, how to explain it, how to defend it, and how to present it. The thought of making a living at as an artist started to take on an ominous tone- a life full of creating for someone else, and to base my living off that… well, let’s just say I’m glad I found librarianship as another option.

So I’ve been painting again, and it feels good. It’s been a while since I’ve had a hobby completely outside of library stuff. Even the “fun” books I read last summer almost all had to do with some aspect of libraries- technology, management, etc. To get my artwork out there I’ve started a “free artwork” photoset in Flickr- I will occasionally put up small paintings there for free (and I usually announce on Twitter). There is something immensely gratifying about giving things away for free.

I realize that when I push myself too hard, I end up wanting to turn away from the things I am most passionate about, so I am on a quest to regain some balance in my life. I was so sparky last semester- my thoughts seemed to mesh up with what I was learning in class and the blogosphere supported it all. Now my feed reader constantly taunts me with the little “1000+” unread posts signal. I’ve taken a laissez faire approach to that- not gonna weed or do anything, just read when I can. I feel like I’m constantly running to catch up, not sprinting ahead of the pack. I hope that this spring break I can emerge with new enthusiasm and vigor, and more purpose about what I want to do and how I can accomplish it.

Photos: splorp BugMan50 capturingJenn (last one mine)

karin :: Mar.25.2008 :: Conferences, Library, Rant, School Stuff, Work :: 7 Comments »

I’m writing an evaluation of Quintura.com search engine for my Information Storage and Retrieval class. I’m having a lot of fun playing with it - it’s kind of like boolean searching for dummies. It uses Yahoo for search results, and gives a cloud of terms one can use to broaden or narrow the search. I’m not always a big fan of tag clouds, but in this case, it can work really well to show an overview of a subject. Plus, they have embeddable widgets-

All in all, a nice alternative engine. I much prefer it to similar engines like Clusty, KartOO and Grokker.

karin :: Feb.27.2008 :: School Stuff, Sites and Stories :: 2 Comments »

In the comments of Michael Sauers recent post about adding creative commons works to their library catalog, Dewi Morgan said:

I think this is great… but.

But like all copyright mechanisms, CC licences are only a means to an end, and that end is to restrict the rights of the consumer and purchaser. Some CC licenses are unarguably vastly better than most commercial licenses. But CC is not public domain.

Every time I see a government or a library getting “into” CC, I have to ask: as opposed to what?

If the alternative is Public Domain, then moving to CC is a giant leap backwards. If you are going to spend money promoting a rights mechanism, and preserving works released under that mechanism, and putting your weight and support behind that mechanism, then let that mechanism be the Public Domain, not some “watered-down Copyright that is still undeniably Copyright”.

I can’t speak as a government or library, but I can say why I myself post my work under creative commons and not public domain.

I have been trained as an artist. In school, I heard a LOT about not giving yourself away, about protecting your copyright, your “brand,” even about legal ramifications both of using others work and others using your work. I remember that the whole thing seemed weird. There was no way then, at least not that I knew, to release my work under a license that said “please use this, please share it” and allowed me to find other artists whose work was remixable. Artists have a tenuous relationship with copyright. Those that make art by remixing know, or at least should know, the copyright law as it applies to derivative works and fair use. Most artists, rather then spend a lot of time wrestling with legal definitions, will either use public domain source material, or try to use nothing at all (which can be stifling for many people.)

In general, if you release something into the public domain, that means anyone can do anything they want with it. There are limitations of course, but you wouldn’t have a legal leg to stand on if you released something in the public domain and then someone else put it in a gallery show without attribution. Of course, there is nothing to stop someone from putting a CC:By work in an art show either, but if they are following the terms of the license, at least you’ll have your name attached. It may not seem like a big deal - after all, you aren’t making money off your work either way, right? But in the art world, as most other circles, name recognition is *really* important. So if you give enough away under CC:By that people know your name, that’s social capital.

In an ideal world, Creative Commons wouldn’t be necessary- people would be polite and cite their sources. CC is a way of reminding people that yes, you can use this, but don’t pretend you made it, ok? Attribute back.

What creative commons license you use will depend on your purpose: I attribute almost everything CC:By because the important thing to me right now is name recognition. I’m building my brand, so to speak. Even if I was selling artwork, though, I’d probably stick with the CC:By SA license, because I don’t mind people making money off the work, as long as they help the cause by releasing their work into the commons as well. The brilliance of CC:By SA is that it is self perpetuating- you are free to use my content, but you have to let other people use your content. I personally don’t believe in, and will never use the Noncommercial version of the license, because it stifles other’s ability to make money as an artist (if they so choose) and is too incompatible with the other licenses. I don’t begrudge others decision to put that restriction on their content, however, I try not to use noncommercial licenses in case I want to sell something based on another work* later on. (* I added “based on another work” to try to clarify what I was saying re: Mark’s comment below. My full reply to his comment is in the comments)

As a creator, I don’t believe it is wrong to assert some rights over my work. I believe in intellectual property- I just think that as a society, we need to be able to build upon things or we will stagnate. The only problem I see with creative commons as it is is the time span- my work goes into the public domain following the same schedule as copyright law which would be 70 years after I die - that is, unless I go back and manually change the licenses of older content. Ideally, I could set a limit of my CC license, after which point it passes into the public domain. I think 10 years is reasonable. As it is now, I’ll just have to do a reevaluation of old work and release it into public domain where appropriate.

The reason I think 10 years is a reasonable term is that artists don’t live by resting on our laurels. We don’t make one really great painting or book and go “well, guess I can retire now!” - We create, we keep creating, and we keep changing. What I made 10 years ago doesn’t matter near as much as what I will create tomorrow. I think 10 years is a reasonable term for me to monetize what I can. That may be just me. I think terms up to 30ish years or until death (whichever comes first) are reasonable- but not this 70 years after death stuff.

karin :: Feb.22.2008 :: Art, Free as in Freedom, My Stuff, Open access/Open source, Sites and Stories :: 3 Comments »